so i just finished a tarot reading which told me to slow down, go inward, and be less social. it basically said nothing would work unless and until i do that. and so i am going to try getting up at 6 in the morning, folks. gonna try to meditate and write and drink coffee, alone in the blue/grey mornings, and then to go to bed early and just generally follow the rhythm of autumn (despite the fact of warm weather out here in california). i've been planning my birthday party at which my guests and i will watch "wolfman" and eat caramel popcorn balls. i have covered the house in spiderwebs. i made some soup. i have to say - perhaps u can "hear" it in my "voice" - i feel a little melancholy right now. i'm struggling to not feel bad about myself as i ride this wave i'm on. the tarot cards said i am in need of quiet and alone time and that i am virtually breaking out of my shell (picture of an egg with a tiny person inside) in preparation for the "revolution" that is in store for me. they warned me that i wouldn't feel ready. they spoke of vulnerability and tenderness. and they insisted on darkness and struggle as the condition upon which these changes will take place. it certainly does feel like that's where i am - i just don't want to be, dammit.
hoping ur all safe and warm tonight.